Dom/Sub Relationships 101: Everything You Need to Know as a Beginner


One of the integral parts of your BDSM journey will be the Dom/sub dynamic. Sure, everyone loves to talk about bondage and sadomasochism, but few analyze the Dom/sub relationship, which we consider to be the foundation of it all. After all, who’ll be the one giving the orders, and who will be happy to oblige? 

That’s the art of a dom/sub relationship. It all comes down to taking the lead and surrendering consensually for extreme pleasure. There are several types of dom/sub relationships that we recently covered. But, this time around, we’ll focus on what exactly a D/s dynamic entails.

So, today, let’s take a deep dive at what it truly means to be a sexual submissive person, what’s the role of the Dom in the relationship, and everything else you’ll need to know as a beginner.


What Is A Dom/Sub Relationship

Before we cover each individual, let’s see what a Dom/sub relationship for beginners looks like. For starters, it’s important to note that everything done in this dynamic is consensual. Regardless of your role in it, you must have first discussed it with the other person.

So, with this in mind, these BDSM relationships are all about power rules. The Dom (or Domme for females) is the one in charge, while the sub is the one that’s prepared to obey at any point.

These kinds of relationships are often just implemented during sex. However, we’re here to tell you that you don’t have to stop there. Several partners take this dynamic to the outside world and their everyday life. Sure, it’s a bit dumbed down, but it builds a much stronger connection between the two partners.


What Is The Dom(me)’s Role – Consensual Sexual Domination

The Dom(me) is the ruler of the relationship. A great example of a Dom is the Rigger during rope play. Their role seems pretty simple, right? Just take control of the whole relationship and be relentless, right?

Well, that’s far from the truth. We’d go as far as to say that the Dom isn’t actually in charge. You see, dominant sexual partners must always ensure they don’t go beyond the sub’s boundaries. 

So, technically, the Dom can do anything they want as long as they have consent. But good Doms will always take action to ensure their little sub is shivering with excitement.


What Is The Sub’s Role – Submit to Your Master

The sub’s role in a Dom/sub relationship is to obey their master at all times. And we’ll let you in on a little secret. Subs are the ones that have the most fun during any type of BDSM play. That’s because when everything is consensual, they get to set their boundaries and fully express themselves.

Again, as with Doms, anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, can be a sub. Being a sub just means you derive immense pleasure from having someone else on the helm. But it goes without saying that such relationships require an ungodly amount of trust.


Trust and Communication: 3 Dom/Sub Relationship Tips

In BDSM, mutual trust is the foundation of any relationship. The Dom must be capable of commanding the sub without overstepping either’s limits, and the sub must be ready to fully submit themselves to their dominant partner.

So, before you try to build a D/s relationship with the next person you match on Tinder, consider the following.


Research Is A Must

Are you a Dom or a sub? What styles of relationships are there? Do you want to try out some impact play as well? You’ll have to spend time researching all of this and discussing it with your partner.


Communication First

For the folks who’ve not comprehended it yet, communication is a vital part of BDSM. Discussing boundaries, coming up with safe words, and evaluating your D/s relationship at all times is a must. 


Learn to Say No

Regardless of your role in the relationship, learn to say no. If your partner doesn’t approve of that, they’re definitely not ready for BDSM scenes. 


Express, Explore, Enjoy

This might be a lot of information to munch down, we know. There’s no need to worry, though. A Dom/sub relationship is all about expressing your inner self, exploring your sexual fantasies, and, most of all, enjoying the moment. And there’s no better way to do that than by bringing some BDSM gear into the mix.

At Oddo Leather, we strive to remove the stigma BDSM has in today’s society. Consider getting some of our premium leather accessories to take your experiences to the next level!